Escape to Paradise: Hotel Victor Beauvais - Your French Dream Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Hotel Victor Beauvais – My French Dream…or Maybe Just a Lovely Nap? (A Review, Unfiltered!)
Okay, people, buckle up! Because I just got back from Escape to Paradise: Hotel Victor Beauvais and I'm ready to spill. This isn't your glossy travel brochure, folks. This is the real deal, the good, the bad, and the slightly soggy croissants. Let's dive into this French fantasy, shall we?
Accessibility - Woefully Under-Reviewed (But I Investigated!)
First things first: Accessibility. This is a HUGE deal, and sadly, not a lot of reviews really dig into it. (accessibility, wheelchair accessible, facilities for disabled guests, elevator) I can’t personally test everything, but I saw some promising signs. The elevator was a godsend (especially after those cheese-laden dinners, mon Dieu!), and they claim to have facilities for disabled guests – but I’d advise calling ahead and getting chapter and verse. Don't assume! Ask about specifics: ramp gradients, bathroom accessibility, etc. Don’t take a travel agent's word! Get a human on the line at the hotel and probe! Because a "disabled guest" could mean anything.
Rooms, Glorious (and Sometimes Imperfect) Rooms
Alright, the rooms. (Available in all rooms, air conditioning, alarm clock, bathrobes, bathroom phone, bathtub, blackout curtains, carpeting, closet, coffee/tea maker, complimentary tea, daily housekeeping, desk, extra long bed, free bottled water, hair dryer, high floor, in-room safe box, interconnecting room(s) available, internet access – LAN, internet access – wireless, ironing facilities, laptop workspace, linens, mini bar, mirror, non-smoking, on-demand movies, private bathroom, reading light, refrigerator, safety/security feature, satellite/cable channels, scale, seating area, separate shower/bathtub, shower, slippers, smoke detector, socket near the bed, sofa, soundproofing, telephone, toiletries, towels, umbrella, visual alarm, wake-up service, wifi [free], window that opens, additional toilet). My room? Pretty darn good. Seriously. The bed? Heavenly. Extra long? Yes! Perfect for my, ahem, extensive frame. The blackout curtains? Essential for my nap schedule. The robes? Plush, baby, plush! The complimentary tea? Bless their hearts! The only downer? The window. It opened, yes, but the view… well, let's just say I was closer to a charming brick wall than the Eiffel Tower. Still, I'll take it! Room service was 24 hours (I'm now addicted to midnight French fries), and that internet access? Lightning fast. Wi-Fi? Free in all rooms! Praise be! Now, the "additional toilet" bit… my room didn't have that. Maybe I wasn't that special. :)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Prepare to Eat! (And Drink!)
Now we're talking! (A la carte in restaurant, alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, bar, bottle of water, breakfast [buffet], breakfast service, buffet in restaurant, coffee/tea in restaurant, coffee shop, desserts in restaurant, happy hour, international cuisine in restaurant, poolside bar, restaurants, room service [24-hour], salad in restaurant, snack bar, soup in restaurant, vegetarian restaurant, western breakfast, western cuisine in restaurant) Let's be honest, this is why we go to France, right? The food situation at Hotel Victor Beauvais is… extensive. The buffet breakfast? A glorious, carb-filled explosion of deliciousness. Croissants? Magnifique. The coffee shop? Perfect for a quick caffeine fix. The happy hour? A must. The poolside bar? Cocktails with a view, baby! I went to the Asian restaurant, and even though I'm not sure that I loved it (it was there, I admit), I will not hold it against the hotel!
One Thing I LOVED: The Poolside Bar (and My Accidental Mojito-Fueled Friendship!)
Seriously. One of the highlights of my trip centered around the poolside bar. Specifically, a near-miss with a rogue umbrella and the best Mojito I've ever had. Yes, I fell for the stereotype. But it was the setting sun, the water shimmering, and the company that made it magical. I ended up chatting with this lovely, eccentric woman named… let’s just say Gertrude. Gertrude, a retired opera singer from… well, let's just say somewhere very glamorous. She shared stories of her life, of singing for royalty, and of her secret method of ordering a Mojito. Gertrude was amazing. (Also, her secrets were great. Now I am a Mojito master). The hotel's poolside bar wasn’t just about drinks; it was about…connection. And memories. I'll never forget it.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax - Oui, Oui, I Need a Nap!
("Body scrub, body wrap, fitness center, foot bath, gym/fitness, massage, pool with view, sauna, spa, spa/sauna, steamroom, swimming pool, swimming pool [outdoor]"). They've got it all. A pool with a view (check!), a spa (check!), a sauna (check!). I'm a big fan of a good spa day. The massage was… bliss. The pool wasn't just any pool; it was gorgeous. That perfect Parisian light on the water… chef's kiss. I skipped the gym. Honestly, I was too busy eating.
Cleanliness and Safety - Sanitized and Safe-ish
("Anti-viral cleaning products, breakfast in room, breakfast takeaway service, cashless payment service, daily disinfection in common areas, doctor/nurse on call, first aid kit, hand sanitizer, hot water linen and laundry washing, hygiene certification, individually-wrapped food options, physical distancing of at least 1 meter, professional-grade sanitizing services, room sanitization opt-out available, rooms sanitized between stays, safe dining setup, sanitized kitchen and tableware items, shared stationery removed, staff trained in safety protocol, sterilizing equipment"). Okay, this is important. They were REALLY on top of the hygiene stuff. Hand sanitizer everywhere, daily disinfection, staff masked up. Room sanitization? Check. Safe dining setups? Check. I felt safe. Maybe a little overkill, but hey, better safe than, you know… sick. I’m a germaphobe, so I appreciated it.
Services and Conveniences - The Little Things That Matter
("Air conditioning in public area, audio-visual equipment for special events, business facilities, cash withdrawal, concierge, contactless check-in/out, convenience store, currency exchange, daily housekeeping, doorman, dry cleaning, elevator, essential condiments, facilities for disabled guests, food delivery, gift/souvenir shop, indoor venue for special events, invoice provided, ironing service, laundry service, luggage storage, meeting/banquet facilities, meetings, meeting stationery, on-site event hosting, outdoor venue for special events, projector/led display, safety deposit boxes, seminars, shrine, smoking area, terrace, wi-fi for special events, xerox/fax in business center"). The concierge was my hero. Seriously. I asked them about everything. The convenience store was handy for snacks (duh!). Daily housekeeping kept my room tidy (even with my scattered belongings). Luggage storage? Essential!
For the Kids (or People Acting Like Kids)
("Babysitting service, family/child friendly, kids facilities, kids meal".) I don't have kids, but the place seemed pretty kid-friendly. I saw families everywhere, and the staff was very accommodating. They claim to have babysitting, and a kids menu to boot.
Getting Around - Easy Peasy (Mostly)
("Airport transfer, bicycle parking, car park [free of charge], car park [on-site], car power charging station, taxi service, valet parking"). The airport transfer was smooth (thank goodness!). They have free parking. Taxis were easy to come by.
So, Is Escape to Paradise: Hotel Victor Beauvais a Paradise?
Look, it’s not perfect. Nothing ever is. There might be some minor imperfections, perhaps a rogue stain on the carpet, or a service member who doesn't speak every language perfectly (but hey, you're in France, learn some basic French!), but overall? YES. Absolutely. It was a lovely experience. A great location. Great food. And an incredible pool.
My Score: 4.5 out of 5 Croissants! (The missing half-croissant is for the slightly-lacking view and a tiny detail or two)
My Opinion: Highly Recommended, Especially if You Love a Good Nap and a Mojito. Don't forget to order a second one for me
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Dreaming of a French escape filled with delicious food, luxurious relaxation, and unforgettable moments? Look no further! Escape to Paradise: Hotel Victor Beauvais offers you a truly unforgettable experience. From the moment you
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Okay, buckle up buttercup, because you're about to get a travel itinerary that's less "perfectly curated Instagram post" and more "sweaty tourist frantically consulting a crumpled map." Here goes nothing, Hotel Victor Beauvais, France, prepare yourselves:
The (Maybe) Plan, Hotel Victor Beauvais, France: A Clusterf*ck of Good Intentions
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (Beauvais, Baby!)
- 9:00 AM (ish): Land at Beauvais Airport. Pray to the travel gods that my luggage actually made it. (Last time I flew Ryanair, I was reunited with my toothbrush three weeks later. Moral of the story: pack a survival kit, including a mini-deodorant and a good book, just in case.) Feeling optimistic, I'll probably be running on pure adrenaline and the faint aroma of airplane air.
- 9:30 AM - 10:30 AM (ish): The joy of the airport bus. This promises to be a thrilling experience in its own right. I'll be surrounded by slightly bewildered tourists, mostly trying to figure out which way is up. I will try my best to not make direct eye contact with the local teens. This will be difficult.
- 10:30 AM - 11:30 AM (ish): Arrive at the gloriously charming-looking Hotel Victor Beauvais. Check-in. Hopefully, my booking is actually there. Internal monologue: "Don't be that person who forgets their passport. Don't be that person."
- 11:30 AM - 12:30 PM: Room assessment. First priority: Is there a decent shower? Second priority: Does the bed look like a potential refuge from the world? I'll probably unpack some essentials (phone charger, snacks, emergency wine opener - priorities, people). Quick prayer to the room gods "Please don't let me be in a room on the ground floor. Please."
- 12:30 PM - 2:00 PM: Lunch. Find a little boulangerie and order something delicious, probably with way too much enthusiasm. I'll try to practice my French, which will sound something like a poorly constructed Frankenstein of high school textbook phrases and desperate hand gestures. Expecting to spill something, guaranteed. Maybe even on myself.
- 2:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Explore Beauvais Cathedral (Cathédrale Saint-Pierre de Beauvais). Okay, here's where the "tourist" part comes in. Gaze at the Gothic grandeur. Probably get slightly overwhelmed by the sheer scale and the weight of history. Wonder what the architects were thinking, building something so tall. Take too many photos. (Hey, it's my first day, I'm allowed!)
- 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Coffee and pastry break. Because, France. Find a cozy cafe, people-watch, and try to decipher the French conversations around me. The real point here is to unwind, relax and just absorb the vibe.
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Wander through the old town. Get spectacularly lost. Embrace it. Discover hidden alleyways. Maybe stumble upon a charming little shop selling something wonderfully useless.
- 7:00 PM - Late: Dinner. Find something authentic. Try to order, somehow. Expect the waiter to look mildly exasperated with my attempts at French. This is where the wine comes in. Embrace the "live in the moment" philosophy, which will inevitably lead to over-eating.
- Late Night: Crawl back to Hotel Victor. Collapse into bed. Reflect on the day. Sigh contentedly, or maybe groan about the fact that my feet already ache. Probably both.
Day 2: Cathedral (And the Many Ways to Get Lost)
- 8:00 AM (ish): Wake up. Wonder if that wine was really a good idea.
- 8:30 AM: Breakfast at the Hotel. Cross my fingers and hope there's some decent coffee. I'm a creature of habit and need my caffeine. If it's bad, I'll grumble, but eventually accept my fate.
- 9:30 AM - 12:00 AM: Re-attempt the Cathedral. This time, with more intention! My goal: Actually understand the scale of the architecture. Maybe try to find a guided tour (in English, please!). Focus on the stained glass. Get lost in the colours and the light. Feel a profound sense of awe.
- Side Quest: Attempt to find the elusive "north rose window." I'll bet it's stunning.
- 12:00 PM - 1:30 PM: Lunch. Back to the boulangerie, possibly. This time, I'll try something I definitely shouldn't. Maybe try the quiche. Decide it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten and vow to attempt to find the recipe when I get home.
- 1:30 PM - 4:30 PM: This is where things might get messy. My grand plan is to explore the Musée Départemental de l'Oise. However, since I have an awful sense of direction… Well, let's just say I'm accepting that getting lost is part of the itinerary. Wander down some charming, winding streets. Get completely disoriented. Probably ask a local for directions. Get even more confused. Admire the local architecture, even if I'm not actually sure what I'm admiring.
- Anecdote: Last time, I thought I was following signs to a famous museum in Rome. Ended up in a random pizza restaurant. The pizza was amazing. I considered it a win, but probably should have done some more research.
- 4:30 PM - 6:00 PM: Coffee and people-watching round two. Need to sit down. Reflect on all the things that have not gone according to plan. Watch people. Try to understand the secret French language.
- 6:00 PM - Late: Dinner. This time, I attempt a restaurant that I found on Yelp. Possibly fail to get a table at a nice restaurant, and end up in a place where I'm clearly the only tourist. But hey, a chance to truly absorb the local atmosphere, right? Embrace the chaos. Order whatever sounds vaguely delicious.
Day 3: Farewell & The Long Goodbyes
- 8:00 AM (ish): Last breakfast. Sigh dramatically. Consider moving to Beauvais permanently. Reject the idea. Realize I haven't packed. Panic.
- 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM: Last attempt to see anything I missed. Stroll down the streets. Get even more lost. Buy some souvenirs (some of which I'll never use).
- 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Final check-out at the Hotel Victor. Thank the lovely staff, who must have seen every kind of tourist in the book. Feel a pang of sadness to leave.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Airport bus, the sequel. Contemplate my life choices. Question whether I'll ever learn French.
- 1:00 PM (ish): Depart from Beauvais.
- Aftermath: Spend the next few weeks telling everyone who will listen about my trip to Beauvais, exaggerating the drama and charm in equal measure. Vow to return. Already starting to plan the next trip.
Important Notes:
- Flexibility is key. Things will not go as planned. Embrace the chaos. Laugh at yourself.
- Snacks are essential. Always.
- Don't be afraid to try new things.
- Take lots of photos (even the blurry ones).
- MOST IMPORTANTLY: Enjoy the experience!
So there you have it. My "plan" (more like a suggestion) for my time in Beauvais. I probably won't stick to it, but that's the beauty of travel, right? It's all about the unexpected adventures and the stories you'll tell later. Now, wish me luck. I'm going to need it. And if you see a very flustered tourist wandering around Beauvais, looking lost and slightly overwhelmed, that's probably me. Come say hello!
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Escape to Paradise: Hotel Victor Beauvais - Your French Dream...or Is It? (FAQs, Because I Still Have Questions)
Okay, so “Hotel Victor Beauvais.” Sounds fancy. What's *actually* going on there? Like, what's the *vibe*?
Alright, buckle up. "Fancy" is a… *relative* term, okay? Picture this: Beauvais. Charming, Medieval-y, but not exactly Paris, you know? The hotel… it's got potential! Think old building, creaky floorboards, a lingering scent of… *something* (history? Maybe mold? I’m still not entirely sure). It’s like stepping back in time, which is cool… until you’re wrestling with a wonky showerhead at 7 AM. The vibe? Relaxed, definitely. Maybe *too* relaxed. Like, the staff operates on "French time," which, to be fair, I kinda dig. Slow down, enjoy the croissants… just don't expect things to happen at warp speed. (Exhibit A: My luggage took an extra day to arrive. *Thanks*, Air France. And the hotel staff just shrugged. "C'est la vie!")
The *Rooms*… tell me about the rooms. Because, honestly, that's where the magic (or the screaming) happens.
The rooms… Ah, the rooms. Listen, the website photos are… *generous*. Let’s just leave it at that. My room was… adequate. Clean-ish. The bed was comfy, surprisingly so. But there was this *tiny* detail: the tiny window that faced… a brick wall. A very, very close brick wall. My first thought? “Well, that’s depressing.” Second thought? “At least it’s quiet.” I spent a good chunk of the first day staring at that brick wall, contemplating the meaning of life (and why I'd chosen this room). But hey, the air conditioning worked, which, frankly, was a miracle. And the little balcony (the one I *thought* I was getting?)… well, it didn't exist. Still, the charming (read: slightly chipped) antique furniture did have character.
Food! Crucial. Is the food at Hotel Victor Beauvais actually good? Or are we talking "hotel breakfast buffet sadness"?
Okay, the food… *potential*. The breakfast buffet? Honestly, not bad! Croissants, pain au chocolat, decent coffee, the usual suspects. Don’t expect Michelin-star quality (remember, *Beauvais*), but it was enough to fuel my day. The real treasure? The little dining room. It’s this cozy space, with mismatched chairs and – and this is important – *actual* French bread. I kid you not, I could have just lived on the bread alone. The dinner menu… a bit hit-or-miss. Some nights were pure magic. One night, I had this incredible steak (perfectly cooked, I still dream about it). Other nights? Let's just say the fish was… *interesting*. And the service? Again, French time. Be prepared to wait. But hey, you're in France, right? Relax. Enjoy the wine. And don’t be afraid to flag down a waiter – they're not psychic. Unless… maybe they are? (I swear, sometimes they knew what I wanted *before* I did!)
I heard something about a courtyard? Is it as romantic as it sounds?
Oh, the courtyard. *That's* where they get you. The courtyard is lovely. Truly. Picturesque. But… it's also where all the smokers congregate. Seriously. Every. Single. Night. After dinner, the air fills with cigarette smoke; no matter what you do. Romantic vision? A little hampered by nicotine clouds. But, the courtyard looks truly stunning at dusk with the fairy lights, and you will definitely take hundreds of photos. But, be prepared to change your spot whenever the smoke gets too much. *sigh*
What about the location? Is it actually *in* Beauvais? And, uh… is Beauvais even worth visiting?
Yes, the hotel is *in* Beauvais. Duh. And yes, Beauvais is worth visiting! (Well, maybe. It depends what you’re looking for). Beauvais is home to a truly *amazing* cathedral – seriously, go see it! (It's not as famous as Notre Dame, but it's jaw-dropping). And the market! Oh, the market! Delicious cheeses, fresh produce, lively locals… it's a sensory overload in the best way possible. The hotel is a relatively short walk from all the main sights, which is convenient. But, let me tell you… Beauvais is not Paris. It's quieter, slower. Which, honestly, is kind of the point. This isn't a bustling city; this is the French countryside in a small beautiful package.
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, let's be honest, I need to check my Instagram.
Yes, there's Wi-Fi. *Sort of*. It exists. It *operates*. Sometimes. Other times, it's slower than a snail on a sleeping pill. The internet is *almost* as inconsistent as the weather, which, in my opinion, wasn't the worst thing. It forces you to actually *talk* to people, which, in a foreign country, is always a good idea.
Let's get real. Would you go back?
Honestly? *Maybe*. Despite the wonky Wi-Fi, the smokers in the courtyard, and the slightly depressing brick-wall-view… there was something about the Hotel Victor Beauvais. It wasn't perfect, far from it. But it was *real*. It had character. It was… *French*. And in a world that's increasingly homogenized, that counts for something. Would I expect perfection? Absolutely not. But would I recommend it to someone who's open to a little adventure, and a whole lot of *c'est la vie*? Yes. Absolutely. Just don’t expect your luggage to arrive on time. And maybe pack a brick-wall-view-appreciation journal. You never know. I loved it, I hated it, I loved it! The history, the charm, the food; I was there for a week and I only went for 2 days! It was an amazing journey of highs and lows. And yes, I would go again if I could!
Are there any hidden costs or fees I should be aware of? You know, the *small print*…
Oh, the *small print*! Yes. There's the usual tourist tax. And, let's be clear, parking. If you are bringing a car, parking is at a premium, and the cost is kind of ridiculous (but Beauvais parking is generally expensive). Also, be prepared for the minibar prices. They're… ambitious. ButWallet Friendly Stay
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